Tuesday 5 October 2010

No Other Options?

Hi Josephine,

I noticed your comment about being trapped by geography.

Henry Ford said:
When you've tried everything - remember this: you haven't

In my experience there are always new options but our believes and fears prevent us seeing them. Most commonly, we want change, but we don't want to change anything - and this bends "there are no options I really like" into "there are no options".

There's usually a price to pay, but it's a short-term price for a longer-term gain. Often, the short-term price is ruled out through fear - and that's how the trap works.

Sometimes, hearing this irritates people - "How can HE know what he's talking about -he knows nothing about my situation!". Whilst it's true that I know little about your situation, I have coached a lot of people, so I know how we blind ourselves to our opportunities.

A few loosening techniques include:

- Imagine you died. Would your presence still be required where you are?

- Are those around you trapped? If not - what uniquely traps you?

- If someone pointed a gun at your head and said "Get out of this trap now - or I'll shoot you" - would you say "Well, then you'll have to shoot me, because there is no way out"?

- If X were in your situation - would they be trapped - or would they escape?
[Replace X with each of Superman, Joe Stalin, President Obama, your hero].

I hope that's more helpful than annoying, Josephine!


  1. Very useful, thanks. The only trap is the fear of change

  2. Can you send round the man with the gun as thats what it will take to get me to change.!!
    Even though I want to ,the fear paralysis sets in..

  3. WHen fear paraylises, one technique is to WRITE DOWN THE FEAR, and then ask "So what - what now" - then write down the next step in the fear chain. Repeat that process until something is dead!

    You may well find yourslef laughing out loud at the nonsense your fear has been telling you. Well woth a try.