Monday, 9 May 2011

The Worry of Worry


Hello Debbie,

So you want to be more relaxed and worry less.

Worry is a big source of misery in many people's lives and the causes and cures are varied.

Start by getting your worry monsters out of the shadows and onto a well-lit table. When you're fully alert and feeling good, write them down in sentenced like "I am worried about money".

Next express the worry in terms of consequences: "I am worried that my outgoings will exceed my income".

Finally, push these consequences through to their terrifying conclusion:
"I am worried that I will drift into debt"
.. so what?

"I'll default on the mortgage"
...so what?

"I'll become homeless and live in a puddle"
... so what?

"then I'll die.

Usually when you do this - when you externalise the full chain of worry where it can be examined with your intellectual mind - you find the worry loses a lot of its power because you recognise it's bizarrely irrational. Many of my clients laugh out loud when we do this in session.

That is the start of the process of removing worry.

What comes next is rational analysis of how to remove the worry. Usually that's a combination of two things:

1) mediating your self-talk to minimize the insanity
2) taking practical steps to remove the route causes of the worry.

It's not usually plain sailing but it's always possible and the benefits to happiness levels is wonderful to behold.

So why not get to know one of your monsters today?

I wish you well with it.



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