Thursday, 7 June 2012

Get a Life!


Hi Peter. So most of all, you want to "get a life".

The first thing I suggest ni these cases is to get specific.

What would "a life" (one you'd like to live) look like? As long as it's a fuzzy dream, it stays a dream. Getting specific brings it into the realms of the possible. Of course, that then means doing stuff to make it happen - ewww - work! And more than that - work that makes you go "eek".

So if one of the components of your new life is a social life, write that down, but don't stop there. What does that mean for you - a good social life? Does it mean blokes in boozers, or artsy folks in London, or Morris Dancing in Maidenhead or something else?

If it means blokes in pubs, then don't stop there. How many blokes? Which pubs? How often? 

And don't stop at "blokes" - specify what kind of blokes. Sporty types? Intellectuals? pretty people? Brickies? None of these? A mixture of all of these? Or something else?

You can do this for any kind of aspiration. Keep asking yourself for more detail to clarify the picture of what it is you want. When it's pin-sharp, it's time to ask how you might set about making it happen. How you do what depends entirely on what it is, of course, but always it means action in the world, and always it means "oh crap - I actually have to do stuff" and always, there's a level of fear in there to be overcome.

Actually, that's the difficult part - the rest is easy and fun, but the fear part is what drives us into the verge and off the road. We find reasons not to do the things we know will get us what we want. This inner struggle is very hard to win, and it's why coaches make such a difference.

Anyway, I hope that gives you a leg up on getting yourself your new life. If I can help - let's talk.


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