Life's challenges can be formidable - and that's fundamentally because of our minds.
The human mind is really a collision of two brains. Briefly, our higher brain is able to think rationally whilst our lower brain mediates intuition and is the seat of our emotions. When you understand that these two often conflict, and that the lower brain is generally in charge, then much of the human condition becomes more clear.
Let me show you:
- You know you could do a bigger ,better job,. But you fear the devil you don't know, you're risk averse, and you have this irrational feeling that you're a fraud waiting to be found out.
- You want to find your life partner, and you know they're unlikely to knock on your door on bended knee out of the blue. But you find the prospect of doing what's necessary to cross their path out there in the world daunting, and you're telling yourself convenient lies (I live in the wrong area/they're all weirdoes) to justified continued inaction.
- You desperately want to be an author, but the prospect of sitting down and doing all that writing is desperately grim!
- You meet almost any difficult situation by emphasising how miserable it is to anyone who'll listen, but the prospect of analysing it rationally, then designing and implementing a plan to fix it seems oddly inappropriate.
- Diets, gym memberships, and shiny new things look like answers, but they seldom are, and we're content to fail to learn this lesson over the course of a lifetime, as our crammed garages will testify.
- And wherever you go in the world - there you are - the same set of parts, doing the same set of things, whilst wishing things were different.
I don't mean to, but I was never a happy clappy life kind of coach. I believe it's important to see things as they really are. That reality is the solid foundation on which we can build your new future. If we tried to build on anything else, it would collapse before very long.
My clients are not fearless cliff-jumpers with perfect teeth, iron wills, and washboard stomachs, they're people like you and me. And my job as your coach is to help you succeed - given who you really are - not who you can pretend to be for short optimistic interludes.
Only then do we start to get traction. Only then can you look forward to permanent positive change.
How do we do that?
Well, it depends on who you are, where you are, and where you want to go. Over the years, building on my training, I've grown a large box of techniques (or "low tricks" as I sometimes refer to them) to facilitate real-world/real-people change. But here is a flavour of what I'll be bringing to the table when I help you change your life:
I gained distinctions in theory and practice of coaching from Europe's largest training organisation - The Coaching Academy. I've also taught leadership coaching for them. I completely understand the coaching process and it's application in the real world.
I've had a real job! I was a manager in blue-chip multi-nationals for 17 years, where I learned a lot about people and personal effectiveness, people in teams, the growing of healthy corporate cultures, leadership, and the management of projects large and small, change management, building and maintaining strategies, budgets and so on. I use this expertise to help my executive clients and those who aspire to executive status.
I spent about four years as a freelance lecturer at my local college and I've been a private tutor to young people. They taught me a lot about helping people who may be stressed and feeling down on themselves to think more clearly and motivate themselves to do well.
Since qualifying in January of 2004, I've grown my coaching practice. I've coaching many hundreds of clients and learned a huge amount along the way. I DO THIS A LOT! This uniquely privileged perspective alone, is a huge asset which I can bring to bear on our work together in the service of your goals.
I'm an old bloke - well 50. I've lived a bit, so I know how it really goes - some of it just plain ugly. Life can be very difficult. I won't be trotting out any platitudes or candy coating. But I may well be showing you how my own broken life has been mended with the techniques we'll be using. Nothing too heavy - you'll be my guide!
Our sessions will be relaxed, friendly, and usually fun. I need to in a resourceful state, and that means as free of stress and fear as possible. I use humour quite a lot to accomplish this; by re-framing your challenges I can loosen the grip of stress and fear, by sharing my personal experiences, I can show you you're not alone and you're not any worse than others.
Together we use our intellects to analyse your situation and how you'd like to change it. We'll develop a strategy which, usually, you'll implement between sessions. I'm here to help you, but you're in charge. I'll need to work within the parameters you set. We might haggle!
Our sessions will explore how things went, and why. I'll be listening carefully for your hidden beliefs and fears. If it's appropriate I'll help you to see them more clearly, to analyse them with your higher brain, and to dissolve them in a solution of reason, freeing you up to make further progress.
Mostly, I'm a CBT coach - I use our intellects to understand your behaviour and the lower brain stuff that drives it, and we'll develop strategies based on that understanding. I may also use reflective exercises, some NLP techniques, mind-mapping, meditation, force field analysis, and other bits and pieces.
Well, I hope I've given you an insight into how I can help you.
More to Learn
You can find a great deal more, including self-help articles, free newsletters online quizzes and more at my website (http://www.uklifecoaching.org/index.htm).
There's also my real-lie coaching BLOG (http://real-life-coaching.blogspot.com/)
my working life BLOG (http://success-at-work.blogspot.com/)
my Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Chris-Wesley-Coaching-Consulting/8967250732)
and my Twitter feed (http://twitter.com/Chris_Wesley).