Monday 21 February 2011

Has Your Get-Up-And-Go - got up and gone?

Hello Joanne

So you want to feel more motivated. When motivation is lacking it's particularly difficult, because you'll struggle to motivate yourself to fix it! The engine of change is the thing that's broken.

Without motivation, we live life at a low level, avoiding the worst of the bad stuff, trying to tread the least awful path. Beyond that, we're powerless to make changes.

At it's core, low motivation is usually driven by a loss of confidence that you can control your life. Maybe you tried some stuff and not only did it not work, it also bit you in some way. A few of those is all it takes, and it's worse when low self-esteem is also an issue.

Coaching helps in three powerful ways:
  1. I help clients to convert problem-centred thinking into solutions. So we change focus from what you don't like to what you would like to replace it with. We sharpen that goal with specifics - usually numbers - dates, times, monetary amounts, and so on. When you have clear goals in sight, you're far more likely to be willing to invest effort (i.e. to be motivated). But see item 3 below.
  2. When you know the WHAT it's time to look at the HOW. How will you get what you want? What things will you do in the world to make things happen that will move you closer to the happier life you want?
  3. In all of this, rampant pessimism is the norm. When I ask people to take these steps, they resist. "What's the point, it isn't going to happen", they say (or think). And they think far too small, based on what "people like me" can expect from life. So central to life coaching is understanding how my client's emotional self is driving their intellectual thinking, and then addressing the issues - showing them what they're telling themselves, helping them to dissolve thinking patterns which are keeping them trapped in lives they are not enjoying.
You're unlikely to be able to motivate yourself to find more motivation. Like someone trapped down a well, you need someone to throw you a rope of a ladder, or at least to shine a torch down so you can see more clearly.

And that's what I do for my clients. They get clear on what they want. They begin to believe they deserve it,m and they could have it. They begin to take a more active role in re-organising their lives. Things get better, confidence grows, and stress fades.

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Friday 18 February 2011

What Coaching Did for Ed

Ed Haddon - Life Coach
Ed was a client of mine a couple of years ago. He contacted me recently to tell me what he's been up to and to show me his new website. The quote below appears on his home page (and here, with Ed's permission):
"Two years ago I was at a crossroads in my career and I knew I wanted to be happier but I had exhausted my own ideas about how. So I had some life coaching. Deeply skeptical I hit search on the Google page, spent some time reading around websites and picked a coach.

He did genuinely change my life. I gained huge conviction over the right direction for my career and took action on this. I was dissatisfied with a number of other areas in life, again he helped me either make changes or put things in perspective.

Why did it work? Because I came up with the plans and the answers. He asked brilliant questions and was an ally and hugely encouraging but I owned the action plan so I followed through. No more “one day I will…..”

It was so powerful that after a few weeks I realised I had to learn how to help others like myself."
Of course, it's very gratifying to know that I have played some part in helping someone to find a better path in their life. If you think I might help you face your life challenges, start here.

You can read more about Ed and the services he offers on his Life Coaching Website.

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Tuesday 8 February 2011

Fed Up + Skeptical = Trapped!

Hello Alison,

So you're not feeling fulfilled, but unsure about how much coaching would help.

Normal on both counts!

There's a saying - "If you wait for certainty, you wait for death" and - in a grim sense - I think that's true. In all worthwhile challenges (and finding fulfilment must surely qualify, and the older we get the more keenly we feel it), there are no certainties - there are inevitably risks.

In our society, we're conditioned to fear "failure" but really failure is just feedback - it's just reality telling you that the method you chose to get something done isn't perfect. If you can hang in there and hear the message, and learn the lesson, you're ready to try again with your head held high, even enjoying the process.

The good news about coaching with me is that, whilst I can't guarantee you success or an easy ride (though I'll try extremely hard to give you both), I CAN promise you won't waste your money, because I offer a guarantee - if you find your session wasn't helpful, you can claim a refund - by email if you like.

I'd also check out my 200+ testimonials from satisfied customers who took the plunge you're contemplating now.

We'd probably start our work together by firming up your goals - what exactly does fulfilment MEAN for you? Quite possibly, you don't know, and you may even say "well, if *I* don't know what I want, how can *he* help me get it?", but helping you to find out exactly what you want, is fundamentally what I do for my living, and I'm good at it. That's the start.

Probably, your doubts and pessimism would come in, but I'm trained and very experienced to help you out with dissolving those too. As clarity arose, you'd feel more confident and chronic stress would probably being to dissipate.

Once goals are clarified, and you begin to believe that you could actually have them, then it's time to set about working out HOW to get your goals. Chances are your life is already full up with stuff so we'd need to get your time management under control.

Most people feel they have no control, but really, that's an illusion - it's a compelling one, but it's still an illusion I can help to dispel. They say "if you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting what you've always got", and that's so true. But it's REALLY HARD to stop doing what we do. Our identity is wrapped up in there, and we fear letting it go - even when it hurts us daily. This is challenging without a doubt, but again - it's what I do for my clients, and it's a powerful way to get the change you've not been able to get on your own.

I wish you all the best.

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