Monday 21 February 2011

Has Your Get-Up-And-Go - got up and gone?

Hello Joanne

So you want to feel more motivated. When motivation is lacking it's particularly difficult, because you'll struggle to motivate yourself to fix it! The engine of change is the thing that's broken.

Without motivation, we live life at a low level, avoiding the worst of the bad stuff, trying to tread the least awful path. Beyond that, we're powerless to make changes.

At it's core, low motivation is usually driven by a loss of confidence that you can control your life. Maybe you tried some stuff and not only did it not work, it also bit you in some way. A few of those is all it takes, and it's worse when low self-esteem is also an issue.

Coaching helps in three powerful ways:
  1. I help clients to convert problem-centred thinking into solutions. So we change focus from what you don't like to what you would like to replace it with. We sharpen that goal with specifics - usually numbers - dates, times, monetary amounts, and so on. When you have clear goals in sight, you're far more likely to be willing to invest effort (i.e. to be motivated). But see item 3 below.
  2. When you know the WHAT it's time to look at the HOW. How will you get what you want? What things will you do in the world to make things happen that will move you closer to the happier life you want?
  3. In all of this, rampant pessimism is the norm. When I ask people to take these steps, they resist. "What's the point, it isn't going to happen", they say (or think). And they think far too small, based on what "people like me" can expect from life. So central to life coaching is understanding how my client's emotional self is driving their intellectual thinking, and then addressing the issues - showing them what they're telling themselves, helping them to dissolve thinking patterns which are keeping them trapped in lives they are not enjoying.
You're unlikely to be able to motivate yourself to find more motivation. Like someone trapped down a well, you need someone to throw you a rope of a ladder, or at least to shine a torch down so you can see more clearly.

And that's what I do for my clients. They get clear on what they want. They begin to believe they deserve it,m and they could have it. They begin to take a more active role in re-organising their lives. Things get better, confidence grows, and stress fades.

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