Tuesday 10 April 2012

Wishing your Life Away?

Hello Melanie,

I noticed your comment about wishing your life away and enjoying it instead. That's a lovely wish and I help lots of people like you in this way.

I can give you some pointers, but experience has taught me that people find this work almost impossible to do on their own. There's an article explaining why that is, here - but in summary, we can't see our own lives clearly because we're too close to them, and too emotionally tied up in them.

But here's a pointer anyway, which I hope you'll find helpful.

Try to get really specific about what it is that you want from your life. If you had a magic wand (or a really good life coach!) - what would you wish for? Get really specific - with dates, monetary amounts, locations, times, durations, names, locations, and so on.

Of course, pessimism will be snapping at your heels throughout - you may not be able to take yourself seriously. It may even make you feel worse because you'll see more clearly how far you are from your dream life. But - if you're not clear on what you're trying to get, then you're very unlikely to do the things which will bring it to you, so this is an essential first step.

What comes next is the "outer game" - the analytical things you'd need to do to get those things you want, but really, this outer game is a "false floor". You'll see what needs doing, and then you'll find ways to avoid doing them. Why? Well, things like fear, excuse making, saboutaging, and so on. Entirely naturally and totaly destructive. That's the work of the "inner game" - the floor under the floor. It's where the real work gets done, and it's where I earn my living as a life coach.

Working with you on gaining belief, maintaining focus, finding courage and commitment in the face of a world that's almost certainly not going to roll over and play dead for you, is what makes the difference between living to dream and living the dream - or at least living a life somewhat closer to the dream than it was before.

But you know what?

In practice, most of my clients don't blossom into a brave new world like that. More often, with my support, they limp through phase one in a state of semi-dis-belief - reluctantly, sceptically, doing the stuff, grudging the effort, and fending off life's blows to get across the line. But then - when they get a measure of success, they're transformed. Now they know that change is possible. They realise how small their game was before, and how big it could be in future if they stopped blocking themselves, and they're ready for more change making. Fear of the unknown is much reduced.

If you think it might be worth investing £10 to see if you can make radical positive changes in your life, then please book an initial coaching consultation.

So - over to you. If it's time for a change, then here's an opportunity for you.

Best Wishes,

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